distraido
April 17, 2008
On Monday my cousin had a breakdown and was suicidal because her new pills were causing a chemical reaction. I’ve never really had to deal with that first hand before so I think that’s what made me stay calm, it didn’t seem real. All I really had to do was go with my aunt to pick up my cousin and then drive my cousin’s car home while they went to the doctor. She is home all week and can’t be left alone so it’s a little weird to adultsit. I had to get up this morning to just hang out with her while my aunt went to an appointment. It’s just really awkward because she knows what I’m doing so I don’t really know how to act. I mean, if she knows she’s having a chemical problem, it’s weird she can’t recognize that and be fine… I’ve never had that happen so I wouldn’t know I guess. I do know that she’s just afraid of herself and that must feel scary. I found out today that I have to go home Saturday after work and hang out from 3-8 with her because my aunt needs to go to a thing. It’s kind of weird….. oh well. It’s family.
Speaking of family, I talked to my mom today and she said my grandma went to hospice yesterday and won’t be around any longer for more than a few days. I almost cried, even though I’m not close to my grandma. Death is still sad, and I know it’s really hard on my family down there. What makes it all worse is that it was my little brother’s birthday [I am HORRIBLE because I forgot to call him] and he said it was the worst birthday because grandma went to the hospital to die… My poor baby brother! That is not a good memory! So today I got my brother a huge sponge-bob card and sent him 20bucks. I also called my other two brothers to see how they were doing…which they really appreciated. Since I was at it, I gave my dad a call. We didn’t talk long, but he was sober so that was cool. I need to make time to go see him soon… And I need to get my plane ticket to Arizona pronto.
I am so surprised that I am emotionally stable with everything that is going on in my life right now. I can’t even explain how it feels but I just feel so mature or something. I feel emotionally healthy and like I am a good person or something over night. It’s… It’s good.